Psychology of relations

How to stop jealous of a girl - advice of a psychologist

How to stop jealous of a girl? More and more men are asking such a question. Earlier, women were more often jealous of men, remaining themselves throughout their lives in one relationship, which could not be broken, as it was punished with moral reprimand before physical punishment. But now, with gender equality, women have become active, claiming the right to freely change their partner. Girls expressly indicate personal needs in the relationship, they are ready to look for a man that will meet their expectations. In the failed relationship today, either the girl will want to part with the announcement of a break in the partner, or implicitly sympathize with the surrounding guys until infidelity.
What does jealousy consist of? Its roots lie in our biological nature. Jealousy by the male type is not only
Loss of a loved one, almost always this and
Protection of the couple, manifested more strongly in men. This is the control of the territory in an authoritarian form, akin to a proprietary relationship. At the next level, psychological factors associated with personal insecurity and egocentrism are added to this feeling. How to make
Easy, just a seasoning in a relationship?
Is it possible to solve the problem of jealousy ifPartner is not indifferent, and you want to strengthen the union, but the eternal reasons to jealous you order worried? Or, if you feel that your jealousy goes beyond the framework of a healthy reaction, it is redundant and instinctive in nature. We will describe ways to eliminate the problem of jealousy in current and in past relationships.

How to stop jealous of the ex-girlfriend?

Relations did not work out, you broke up, butYou can not completely forget and cease to be jealous of a girl who has become a former, part of the past for you. What will help in this situation? First you need to understand yourself, why do you live in the past, what are the clues for you in this past life left? Perhaps in you there is a hope to restore past relationships. Then your jealousy will have constant recharge, because the emotional break has not happened, you still think about the girl, about the lived relationship, how her life is now, with whom and where she is. Whom did not initiate the initiative of parting, under whatever circumstances there was a gap - you should end this situation, this gestalt, as Gestalt therapists call it. It is necessary to survive past relationships, to react fully to their own
, Often contradictory, complex, rending you. The most difficult, if these emotions are not realized, are not accepted by you, then like a saboteur, they will unconsciously undermine your psychological well-being, including complex
And all away from you accepting yourself and enjoying life.
You should find out that any situation of partingEmotionally close to living a grief and goes through the stages of this experience. Assume that you have invested much in past relationships, had certain expectations, joint joyful moments - and now it is absolutely natural to experience a contrasting state of disappointment. But it is worth remembering - it is not eternal, on the contrary, the more naturally you behave now, letting go of your emotions, the earlier you will be able to forget the past, returning to active life. Thank the former girl for all the good things that happened between you, and internally let her build a life apart from you, and you - her own. In the best way, you can do this by contacting the psychologist who specializes in living a grief, even if your grief is small, not commensurate with the loss of a loved one or major life shocks.

How to stop jealous of the girl to all the guys?

The question can be answered by the girls themselves. For them, it will sound like this: "How to stop jealousy of a guy?" Under what conditions does the girl not seek to specifically cause jealousy, and even vice versa - she tries to smooth out sharp corners?
The fair sex to force a guyJealous, a desire to get attention. Simply put, the reason for the lack of attention! Give her more time personally, try to guess what she wants, and maybe even openly declares to you, but do you deny or only promise? "Let's go later," "we'll go someday," "there's nothing to talk about" - such answers are once boring to a girl, and she resorts to heavy artillery. If only you include a male with a smitten
, Trying not to surrender its position, it can get the right dose of attention - then you will probably have more than once to be jealous.
How to stop jealous of the girl to all the guys? Give the girl his attention, call more often, write, make nice gifts, even small ones - believe me, these little things, it would seem to you, are so important to her! Thanks to the signs of attention, she will feel - you really love her.
If you are ready for even more serious stepsMeet - ask, what qualities does she want to see in you? What is the ideal man for her? Yes, you should not indulge capricious young ladies, but your girlfriend's expectations can be very realistic and even useful for you, because they will help to reveal your personal potential. Otherwise, the girl, even unconsciously, but will continue to look for the prince on a white horse - just enough until he meets him. Girls have an idealistic view of relationships, in order to build a dream relationship, it will be ready for almost anything. It is better for you even if the girl deliberately, demonstratively provokes you to jealousy - then she stops at this and waits for your reaction, and there are no real grounds for jealousy. Ask her what qualities she finds in you negative, discuss it with her. Be cool and try to judge soberly. And, if the wishes of the girl are moderate, then try to moderate them in yourself, having brought up positive qualities instead. Be single-minded, always have an important goal before you. Girls like single-minded, not lumpy guys. Follow the dream, talk about it, do something every day for its implementation, know that in a few years you will become what you aspired to. Develop skills that will come in handy in the future. Believe me, your girl will appreciate it. It is important for it to feel protected, which will contribute to your responsibility and the desire to protect it.

And be sure to praise your girlfriend, praise forall. If she wore a beautiful dress - make a compliment, do not forget, tell her about it. Believe me, if you focus on the best moments in your girlfriend, then she will only want to make you more pleasant and the problem of "how to stop jealous of the girl to all the guys?" Will disappear by itself. Therefore, praise, make compliments from the heart, the girls notice sincerity. Receiving enough praise and attention, your half simply will not want to look for them anywhere, because it will be filled and satisfied in your union.
By following these tips, you can eliminateThe root of the problem, to remove the source of reasons for jealousy that a girl can create. And let it is difficult to implement these recommendations in one day, if you seriously take them into work, the result will not be long in coming. Be responsible, protect your girlfriend, love, appreciate, then she will not look at anyone else, and you will no longer have a feeling of jealousy.

How to stop jealous of a girl - advice of a psychologist

Jealousy is not just an emotion that hinders you inEveryday life. It is also an emotion that strongly reflects the problem, which can cause a number of disorders in the body. Jealousy - there is a very strong fear of being alone, being invaluable. Pathological jealousy is characteristic of highly complexed people, who are so important to get an external confirmation of personal importance and if the partner gives the slightest excuses to be jealous, it is immediately perceived as humiliation, as if their personality is trampled. Here, the line between the girl as a separate, independent person is psychologically erased, which is not your personal property, and the girl as a part of yourself. The girl here is an object in the structure of the psyche of a jealous man, an indicator of his
Why do guys react so differently in a situation,When his girlfriend complimented? One will be calm and can find it pleasant and even for himself, because if a girl is highly appreciated, then I'm good as a man. The other loses
, Can even be rude to a girl and try to limit her communication with others, even to force her to stay at home.
Here you can bring a story that will beAn illustrative example. The guy with the girl came to the club, while the girl chooses cocktails, he went to wash his hands. A small company sat beside them, celebrating their birthday. The company was already diverging, and finally one of the girls from this company decided to take a picture on her phone, asking the girl from our story to take a picture of them. She was given a mobile phone, she photographed them, but could not return the phone back to the same girl because of the crowd, but gave the person closest to her from that company. It was a man. At this point, her boyfriend came back and saw this picture: his girlfriend hands the phone back to some man and, of course, she wrote to him her number! This is his perception of this situation, initially biased. He approaches the owner of the phone and strikes him, the person falls, beats his temple, lies in a coma for two days, then dies. This is a typical story, as people, being complexed, having psychologically non-adaptive mechanisms, interpreting behavior, leading themselves to the top of confidence and acting inadequately.
There is a healthy and unhealthy jealousy. If we talk about unhealthy jealousy, then it is the strongest affect, the source of which lies in the inferiority complex formed in childhood. If a boy was humiliated, beaten, mocked as a child, he will have a complex where the girl and some values ​​will not only be significant for him, but super-important. If they are encroached upon, such a person is even capable of using physical force. This behavior requires psychological correction. Good results are shown here by rational-emotional therapy, which is related to the cognitive-behavioral approach, which is recognized even by state structures as the most effective with less time.
A guy who does not have problems with a sense of jealousy,May also be jealous, but at the same time jealousy will be fleeting, and when it occurs, he will try to make sure what the situation is in fact, what is the motivation of his girlfriend, and whether there really is any reason to be jealous. A sane man realizes that if a partner wants to change, she will do regardless of his jealousy. If the guy is confident in himself, feels satisfied - then he will not descend to mistrust his girlfriend. Such a guy will also instinctively feel from which of the other men as a male there is a threat, and from what does not exist, which is inherent in the biological beginning. And healthy jealousy will perform a very specific function of protecting its territory. In contrast to a man who is not confident in his parameters, who is jealous of it, at the heart of what fear is - a guy who is psychologically healthy even under treason will not experience the collapse of the person, his life will not end, so he is able to calmly and sensibly talk about his girl's behavior.
How to stop jealous of the girl to all in a row? Men need to be able to be self-sufficient and assume that they can leave by meeting another partner. This does not characterize them in any way, after all, withdrawal is the decision of the girl personally and depends on her internal
. Therefore, experience, arrange shadowing, checkingPhone - the behavior of only insecure guys. With incorrect arrangements at the unconscious level, the loss of a girl can be perceived as a loss of the mother, if the girl performs this role. Or, with unstable self-esteem - fear of comparison, choice is not in my favor, which will mean that I'm worse.
A healthy man, even with the departure of a girl,Is able to understand that she just changed her taste, needs, priorities. Some are concerned about how to stop jealous of the girl to the past. Here our biological principle also dictates its conditions, a man as if appropriating a woman, for fear that she had visited someone's, not completely him, not just him. But even in this case, a psychologically balanced guy should reasonably look at his instincts and coordinate them with the current realities of a free society. Reflecting on how to stop jealous of a girl to the past, it is worthwhile to realize that her guilt or evil intent is not in life, what she had before acquaintance with you, it is necessary to respect her life, which is an obligatory condition of respect in general between partners.

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