Love addiction is a painful expressionHuman love. Love addiction takes power over people with low self-esteem, wrong perception of oneself, negative self-relationship. Even in childhood, such personalities have difficulties with the designation of personal boundaries in communication, it is not easy for them to separate their own framework in relations.
Sincere feeling of love is a wonderfulFeeling, filling a person with joy, giving him inspiration. It often happens that a person falls in love, but soon begins to realize that his feelings can not be attributed to normal. He begins to feel that he has gone mad with love. He shows impatience, always insists that the object of his affection is constantly present near him, he always calls back, gets annoyed if he does not pick up the phone, wants to know his whereabouts, is jealous, limits and controls his contacts.
Once a person wants something against thisTo take, for example, wants to end a relationship, it immediately draws back, but after people are reunited, they again suffer. If a person realizes that it is difficult for him to be in such relationships, he is constantly experiencing suffering and
- this is an obvious love addiction. Addiction in relationships is characterized by a painful predilection.
Love addiction in men, as in women,Happens equally often. There are various methods for treating love addiction. Below, there is more detailed information about what a love addiction is, how to get rid of it.
Love addiction is a painful addictionMan to the object of love. In such relations, both people suffer, to a greater extent even the object of adoration, because he must endure constant jealousy, suspicion, obsessive calls.
, Are inclined to love addiction, because they can not control their life, they start to manage the life of their beloved, doing it excessively intrusive, anxious and insecure. Their insecurity and
Is expressed in the fact that they are afraid to hear the words associated with parting and the possible loss of a partner.
Love addiction is able to develop if inChildhood parents gave their children excessive care and hyper-care. This leads subsequently to the fact that the child is afraid to remain alone without parents and needs constant presence. When a child grows up and becomes an adult, he can become a potential victim of a love addiction. It may show the following symptoms:
To lose a loved one, extreme attachment to him, heavy
Love addiction in men and women is expressed in equal measure and it is impossible to say who suffers more, since it strictly depends on the person.
The love relationship, in which the addict enters,Are called co-addictive. They are very emotionally saturated. Such emotionality can be positively or negatively colored. Soaddictive relations arise between a child and a parent, a man and a woman, a person and an unattainable object (actor, singer, public figure), between people through
Love relationship addiction is inherent in itFeatures: the love addiction almost all his time gives to the object of his predilection; His attachment is so strong that if suddenly there are unexpected changes in the plans and their meeting should be postponed, the addict empties into
The love addict devotes himself to relationships,He puts aside relations with relatives and friends, work, favorite pursuits. The world of the addict is filled with unreal experiences about positive expectations from the partner in relation to himself.
The love addict ascribes to its objectLove those qualities that are completely uncharacteristic of him. When a partner says that one does not need to idealize his image so so, the love addiction begins to give his chosen one even more fantastic features. The addiction differs from others in that it constantly experiences fear that it will be abandoned, which often happens later, because it leads to this by its own behavior.
Addition of avoidance
Interest in the subject of love addiction is the addiction of avoidance.
Addiction of avoidance occurs in too close,Long and sincere relations. The addict often stays in a dual situation: he loves his partner and values them very much, but at the same time he avoids too much affection, tries to be at a distance. Such relationships are very unstable and it is impossible to say exactly how strong they are.
Particularly hard is the partner addictAvoidance, he is constantly waiting for when there will be a second step, when the relationship will come to another level, but this does not happen. The addict is happy with this situation, because he considers himself free in creating frivolous relations on the side.
Addiction avoidances often have different addictions -
, Workaholism and other obsessions.
The partners of the avoidance addiction often do not understand thatOccurs in their love relationships, they suffer, feel abandoned and inferior. In order to somehow influence the situation, they show hyperhumanship. Try to show in all ways how much they love. But they do not understand that such a behavior is caused by the defensive reaction of the addiction of avoidance, what further repels it. In response to the love partner's hyperope, he seeks to withdraw from the relationship, to avoid control over himself, to ease pressure on himself. But at the same time, when he tries to distance himself from a partner, he has a fear of abandonment. He is afraid that if he "overdo" too much, then the partner will not survive and he will throw it, so "backs up" and again seeks to get closer. Such relationships resemble pulsation movements.
Often addiction avoidance are in a relationshipWith love addictions, then the relationship takes on a very dramatic scenario and a priori can not end happily. Love addicts are extremely affectionate to their partner, they want to have complete control over the life of their chosen one, to know absolutely everything that concerns him, naturally, the addiction of avoidance in such relations is too long to become unbearable. Initially, he is absolutely normal in taking courtship, and he himself shows attention and care, revealing his interest. It is this process of seduction that helps the addiction of avoidance in its self-affirmation and
. When there is not too much time heBegins to tire of the relationship. Realizing that he can not respond to the expectations of a loving partner, the addiction to avoidance feels uncomfortable and soon, looking for the first best excuse, distances himself. After a while, such a scheme of relations is repeated again.
When there are two persons of addictsAvoidance, they base their relationship on a common interest and common interests. They will never be very close and sincere, trust in such relationships also often does not take place. The addiction of avoidance is a very good manipulator, if he so wishes, he will be able to maintain the feelings of a partner in love with him, but at the same time it is completely unnoticeable and regularly escaping from too much affection.
The situation of too close proximity causesAddicts have anxiety and tension. Certainness and compulsion is perceived as something too heavy, intolerable. Therefore, often in such relationships, people do not have a common hobby that they would do in their spare time, since for the addiction of avoidance it means more time to spend with a partner, which he tries to avoid and is looking for interests outside of communication with him.
When relationships reach intimacy,The addiction to avoidance also begins to behave unnaturally. In insecure addicts, intimophobia is justified by the fact that they are not able to meet the high standards and expectations of the partner. Bachelor-addicts, the so-called "tasters" are always in search of an ideal, can not "walk up" and grow up. Those who have experienced an unpleasant experience before, can not dare to have new love feelings. Common to all of them is - the inability to sincere intimacy.
When a certain time passes, is purchasedExperience and the person understands that he is tired of living like this, and he wants stable relations, then he asks himself this question: is there a treatment for the addiction of avoidance?
In this state in itself, it is very difficult to understand, especially since a person often does not suspect that his avoidance can have a significant cause.
Treatment of addiction avoidance occurs underThe guidance of a psychologist or psychotherapist, who should very well investigate the cause of the formation of this condition. Having found out the reason, it is necessary to work it out and only after that to be engaged in formation of adequate interaction with the partner.
Treatment of love addiction
Women, more often than men are wondering: Love addiction, how to get rid of it, often it's just a cry of the soul. Women who have given too much energy and love to their relationships become completely devastated and require the help of a specialist who will teach them how to live on, love and be happy with their partner.
Too emotional love is perceivedMan, like true love, because of what, without meeting the reciprocal feelings, he can forever be disappointed in love. In the future, he forbids himself to love, limits his feelings and, thus, protects himself from suffering. It is obvious that a man from a love addiction passed into the state of the addiction of avoidance. Dependence in relationships makes people suffer greatly and this must be fought.
Love addiction, how to get rid? Methods of treatment of love addiction can be individually directed or grouped. The most important in treatment is the choice of a good psychotherapist.
Psychotherapy of love addictions involves the study of dynamics
, Correction of distorted, incorrectRepresentations from childhood. The psychotherapist helps to understand the attitudes acquired in childhood, which determine the behavior of the client. If, for example, these are settings such as "I'm bad", "I will never be happy," the goal of therapy will be to increase self-esteem and create positive attitudes.
Group psychotherapy of love addictionsProvides that all members of the group voice personal personal relationships and project their feelings on the therapist and other participants. All the feelings experienced by participants in the therapeutic group of love addiction contribute to a better awareness of personal experiences, while taking feedback from each participant. Group therapy visits should not be missed, because addiction is an overvalued feeling, a hard-to-control habit that is characterized by relapses. For a more rapid effect of the treatment of a love addiction, a person can attend group sessions and simultaneously undergo individual consultations.
Prevention of love addictions must beginsince the early childhood. It is extremely important that the parents are sufficiently psychologically autonomous, in this case, the child will adopt the strategies of their behavior. Parents in the education of a child for the prevention of love addictions should encourage him to express his own independent thoughts; Express understanding and support; Show your own psychological independence; Openly and sincerely discover their own thoughts and feelings; Directly ask the child what he wants; Clearly teach him what he can, what is not.
On the formation of a person with a love addictionAffect socio-psychological and individual psychological factors. Socio-psychological factors of love addiction include social stereotypes and upbringing in the family. Therefore, it is very important to raise a child as an integral, autonomous personality.
Prevention of love addictions should includeThemselves informing society about this disorder, especially adolescents. People should understand the seriousness of this problem, know that in many conflicts associated with complicated relationships, love is painful. If you do not turn to a psychologist in time, various negative consequences of such conflicts are possible: the development of psychosomatic and psychiatric disorders, the occurrence of suicidal attempts.
Individual psychological factors of the love addiction provide for the personal characteristics of the person: the propensity to
, Narcissistic or masochistic features. It is necessary to work on extermination of these characteristics and replace them with more acceptable and positive ones in order to achieve a harmonious development of the individual.
In the treatment of love addiction is very importantThe right choice of a psychotherapist who has already worked his models in the direction of emotional, psychological addiction. Not all therapists or psychologists were able to change their co-dependent models. If the psychologist could not clarify his own models of love addiction, then he will try to restore a co-dependent relationship with the client.
A psychotherapist who worked on himself in thisSphere, without superfluous objections, will answer the client on a question about his own co-dependent models of a love addiction. If, in response, he only asks the client not to ask unnecessary questions, it means that he has not yet understood himself.
If the therapist has personal experience of overcomingCo-dependent tendencies of love addiction, he can apply it in practical help to clients with a similar problem. Such an expert will help the client realize his personal potential, teach him how to bear responsibility for his life.
The analysis of memories will help to establish and correct the distorted representations of childhood, which influenced the dynamics of love addiction.
A good specialist will help to form an adequate
, To strengthen the determination, to draw up the algorithm of actions necessary to achieve success in fostering a love addiction.
A competent psychotherapist can bePartner in supporting basic needs. The difference is that the therapist has a wealth of knowledge and skills in helping to establish a client's connection with his deep love feelings. The therapist will provide an opportunity to express these feelings in an absolutely safe and supportive environment.