How to reconcile with a guy? It happens that we first quarrel because of a minor reason or continue to strengthen their own affect, when it's time to calm down, and then convulsively we are looking for ways to reconcile. Especially often the girl is tormented by the thought that either the guy should put up first, or she can mislead him with feelings. In fact, it does not matter who will first go to reconciliation, but if the girl is also the most part of the guilt, then she is the first to put up.
How to reconcile with a guy - advice of a psychologist
At a meeting do not press on pity and try to not cry (men badly transfer female tears, and some consider their means
), But also to stay absolutely cold, as ifThe quarrel has not affected you in any way. The main rule is how to reconcile with the guy, if it's your own fault - it's to be extremely sincere. Most likely, if the guy has already come to your meeting, then he also wants reconciliation, but on certain conditions. Your task before the meeting is to determine what you are willing to forgo and change in order to discuss these points from the standpoint of honesty, and not feed it with empty promises, after which nothing in the situation will materially change, but the seriousness of the re-conflict will be much higher.
I want to make up with the guy, what should I do? Be prepared that the conversation may not end in reconciliation - respect the feelings and decisions of the other person. Let it pass a little time, release the situation, then you can discuss everything again. Although if after several attempts his decision does not change, do not be obtrusive, stop insisting on your own, ringing, invading his life and making attempts to rapprochement or pestering with talk about what happened. If you are also dear to him, then time will pass and he will appear with you, then it's up to you to decide whether to continue communication, and if not, then by no sieges, conversations and promises you will not change the situation.
It may seem that there are two opposite options when the question arises: how can you reconcile with a guy, but keep in the field of attention the postulate that in
Both are to blame, just someone is committing a misdemeanor,And someone with his behavior brings this state to another. If most of the blame lies on him, but the guy does not want to recognize and go to be tolerated, then you will have to take these steps. But first, wait a few days, stop yourself in your thoughts and dramatize the situation and let your boyfriend cool down.
Next, agree on the time and place of discussionOf the situation. In the conversation show the utmost care and respect for the partner, because what is not essential for you can be the main life principle of the guy, and he will not want to give them up. Listen to what he says, it will help to understand his point of view on the situation, not to guess. To think out for a person has never brought adequate results - it is better and more informative to ask a direct question. When you tell the guy about your feelings and thoughts, clarify that this applies only to this situation and the moment, avoid such accusatory phrases as "you are always" and "constantly."
How to reconcile with a guy after parting?
Quarrels come in different scales and durations, and if an important topic was touched in the confrontation, you could not hear each other because of the overcrowded
, Then this led to a break in relations. Having frowned on it and what is happening a day or two, a new stage can begin to find options, how to reconcile with the guy after parting, but do not rush.
Before taking a lot of action onCorrecting what happened, try to change your view of the situation, take your mind off, change the situation. You can stroll around the city, meet with friends, go to a new institution or visit an exhibition. You should not go to places that remind you of your meetings and watch films that will remind you of these relationships - your goal is to get distracted so that you can later understand and compare what life you like more, the one that is in your interests or the one that is in your interests or that, together with Him. And, based on new internal sensations, it is necessary to decide how to reconcile with the guy after parting.
If during the break time you find out,That you want to continue the relationship, then remember that at first you can not leave the state of a million ideas, what to say to the guy to make up. So do not send him messages with all your ideas, call, come. Time for a break in communication is better spent not on the rehearsal of the conversation, but on taking care of yourself (visit the masseur and hairdresser, check up for new things and to the psychologist) and your own development (sign up for long-term courses and one-day seminars, read, draw). For your meeting try to look well-groomed and quite contented life, because very few people will want to continue the relationship with a person who looks miserable and runs into
. While you are engaged in yourself and do not communicate,Stay in reach for the guy, if he decides to take the initiative he should have a thread to contact you. Without a trace disappearing from the horizon of the guy will certainly intrigue, but do not overdo it, because if you change the address, phone number and so on, he will not find you and will decide that you are indifferent.
Remember yourself, what you were thanWondered what they were doing at the time of his falling in love with you, and try to return to this state. Then it is possible and appoint a meeting, if he himself has not cooled down and has not invited you to clarify the relationship. When planning a meeting, analyze the reasons that from your point of view caused a conflict and decide for yourself what exactly you can change or do for a peaceful outcome. Try to choose the right words that will reflect your experience and its importance in your life.
How to reconcile with a guy if she is to blame? Your initial task will be to let your guy know that you have realized the mistakes made on your part and are going to make efforts to correct them. And remember, if the quarrel has reached a break in the relationship, then just an apology here will not be enough, you have to restore the lost trust in small steps. Short messages are topical to replace with the extended version - by e-mail, with a long time of absence of communication, the meeting will be more relevant than a telephone conversation. How to reconcile with the former guy the task is more complicated than to settle a quarrel that did not lead to parting, and will require from you judicious and careful actions, maximum endurance and attention. It is better to start communication with neutral, emotionally insignificant topics, somewhere in between you can find out whether he already has a new relationship. If you communicate directly while scary, then messages on social networks will help you out. And writing is not as bad as meeting in person, and there is an opportunity to think through the answer, and your trembling hands will not notice. And further, if he is free, and continues to maintain a dialogue with you, then report that you are sorry, tell us how you miss him, you can even offer to meet. Just do not expect that by agreeing to this meeting, he agreed to resume the relationship, just spend time together, talk, listen to yourself, spend a good time.
What to write a guy to make up? As an option, you can just send sms where the place, time and your desire for a meeting will be indicated, it is more likely that the guy will come at least out of curiosity. Pay special attention to touching and hugging - it is physical contact that greatly facilitates the establishment of relationships. We allow only dear people to physical intimacy, so if you embrace him, but he is still sulking and tells you where and how you are wrong - think that half the job is done, because such behavior indicates the desire of the guy to make peace and keep the relationship.
What can I do to make up with a guy? You can think of a gift for him, that it will be - depends on your imagination (the particularities of a guy, significant events) and financial possibilities (it is not always necessary to make wide and expensive gifts, sometimes more effectively what your time is invested in). You can buy tickets for a match of a sports team or a concert, arrange dinner at your cafe or if you live together to arrange dinner at home, you can draw a poster, an e-card, make a video collage.
Ways to reconcile with the guy are different - the main thing is that the gift-reconciliation bears in itself an apology and shows your love.
How to reconcile with a guy if he does not go to contact?
The guy may refuse to contact you, andThere can be several reasons - either he does it on purpose to take revenge or out of educational purposes, or the previous quarrel was only a reason to break the unbearable relationship, or he
. If this is the first case, then a long silence to himWill not be able to, so the person is afraid of losing you and will be careful not to overdo it with the ignore, which will lead to this parting. Well, if this is the second option, then you do not need to call him and take any steps, this will not bring success, but you can easily run into rudeness and hurt words.
In the case when the guy shows indifferenceDue to the fact that he has few apologies - it is worth considering about further relationships with such a person. Chances are great that you will jump around him further, coming up with new ways to reconcile with the guy and please, while he begins to behave more boorishly and wipe your feet off of you.
Just like in the beginning and reason of occurrenceQuarrels are always to blame for both, and in a reconciliation steps must be taken to meet on both sides. If he passes you by pretending that he does not recognize, humiliates and ridicules in public - stop impose himself, a person does not seek ways to preserve relations. Perhaps when you give him time to rest, he will again begin to be interested in you, and then you should be careful and try to find out
Such behavior. Perhaps he really realized what treasure he had lost because of his stubbornness, and maybe he just needed someone who would run after him constantly and embody any desire - greatly increases his conceit.
But if you are sure that it is dear to him and you needThese relationships, it is worth determining how you can reconcile with a guy if he does not want to interact. Initially, give it a few days, when you do not even remind about your existence at all - it will give you the opportunity to cool down emotions, analyze the situation, and perhaps the offense will pass. If after a time when you did not communicate, he will not answer your calls and sms, which he, with great probability, removes without opening, then the best option would be to write him an email. As experience shows, e-mails to the mail men for some reason are read, unlike SMS and messages in social networks. The requirements for writing are simple enough - it should be a maximum of one page and carry a personal meaning. The Internet is filled with templates and examples of conciliatory letters, but no one will be pleased to receive an impersonal message. Try to use the most understandable phrases and short sentences, and complete the letter itself with a questionnaire proposal that will prompt it to continue the dialogue.
How to reconcile with a guy after a strong quarrel?
The first rule of reconciliation after any quarrel isSolve all the questions when the emotions come to an end, so give yourself and him a few days of silence and non-interference. If you are not in different countries, then reconciliation should take place only in person, no phones and correspondence, so a person may not feel important. Tell the guy that you want to talk to him and choose a time when none of you will not be loaded with work or tired. It is also important to warn that he could plan his day and be mentally prepared for such a conversation.
What can I say to the guy to make up? It is better to listen carefully to your interlocutor, and not just concentrate on your opinion. Even if he says that black is white - listen, do not interrupt, do not criticize. Otherwise, why did you decide to put up with a man whose opinion you do not care? After everyone speaks, you can discuss the situation more constructively. If you feel that the ice is melting between you, you can touch his hand, attach it. Easy physical contact will help to establish an emotional connection.
Show respect if after the first meetingThe relationship will not improve. For example, a guy can forgive you, but tell him that he still needs to be alone. Or you will be together again, but there will be a certain detachment between you - this is normal. Especially after serious quarrels or partings, some amount of time must pass before the injuries are healed and the relationship will resume.
If in the process of discussing the reasons for the quarrel you are againBegan to overwhelm emotions, and you can go on insults (or notice it from your young man), take a break and agree to continue at another time or in writing.
Try to continue to notice and preventEmerging conflicts. With each quarrel, you get to know each other better, there is a peculiar map of the sick places of the partner, where it is better not to step on the rough soles. Be careful and discuss small quarrels at once, until they turn into serious differences, and an avalanche of mutual claims does not cover your life.